…is not communication.

Have you seen someone who doesn’t nag?

Nagging can be the root cause of many broken relationships. It spreads slowly and silently like cancer. I admit I used to nag sometimes but with time I realized it when I am just in that mood of nagging, I make my mind to shut up and be content and controlled. My husband, the most wonderful man in my life  controls my nagging by asking me to sit down, offering some cool drink, giving me some time out and then sit for a discussion. I become a better person when I take some timeout and go softer in communicating my concern.

Some of the common nags I observed in last few weeks with people around are

• See, I told you… and you did not listen. This had to happen.
• I know you will forget.
• Let it be, you will not understand.
• Forget it, I can do it on my own

When I say Nag, I am sure 99% of readers would have imagined a wife nagging at

Trust me I have seen men nagging more than women. Having been the only female employee in my previous organization, I have witnessed how from an executive to executive team member nags over small issues.

There are different stages of nagging that’s all. No one cannot nag and be alright. We are a species who complains a lot. Right from our childhood we are used to nagging and that continues in all our relationships.

When we nag each other as partners we send our happiness far away from each other and when we do it in front of our children we send them a message that it is alright to shout at each other and be the cause of pain and suffering to one another.

With the use of technology we can be nagging too. It is called cyber nagging and can have adverse effects to actual nagging. Even kids do it these days. Can we avoid nagging altogether? But then isn’t it necessary to get things done? For some people this does wonders.

How can we avoid it? Simple Once your relationship is mature you would understand the pressure points of the partner and make sure you do not cross that. Reminding once in a while is okay but constantly nagging can be irritating for both of you. If someone is nagging you or has the habit of reminding you regularly, tell them gently to back off and that they are approaching your pressure point. So a good relaxed open discussion can help you come out of this trap.

There is no problem a cup of coffee, a genuine discussion cannot solve. Let us be problem solvers and not be people who irritate each other and nag over simple silly things.

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