- 64 yrs old
- born in an army family
- has one younger sister
- born and brought up in city
- went to a Christian convent
- was an active Scouts and Guides member
- loved cycling as a kid and a teen
- modern thinking
- 72 old
- born in a farmers family
- has 4 younger sisters and 2 younger brothers
- born and brought up in a remote village
- walked 12 miles to school and back home every day
- conservative thinking
They are married for 48 years with 7 living children, 10 grand children and 4 great grand children.
Having been a tomboy till her wedding, getting adjusted and living as a simple wife and humble daughter- in- law and a loving mother, I am sure wouldn’t have been easy for her. But she managed it beautifully and never complained.
She was born and brought up in a metro city and when she visited my dad’s place for the first time, she had to walk 2 miles from the nearest bus stop. There was no electricity in their village. Except my dad and his brother, no one there was educated. When my dad graduated, people from nearby villages visited to see him just because he had graduated. You can imagine how my mother would have been treated there. A city girl. Yes, but she never acted arrogant, she changed herself completely and made every effort to keep their family as one.
She comforted all my aunts when they had problems, they came to our home for their deliveries, my mom taught them culture and empowered them to live on their own. Not only did she teach them some modern cooking but also learned their delicacies and staples.There were at least 15 kids (my cousins) at home during our summer holidays at school, there were cousins for years and years stayed at our house to study, to stay and search for jobs. My mother always welcomed them and always treated them as her children but never as guests.
A girl who lived on cakes, cookies, biryani, bread, jam and butter had to make and eat some local staples. She had 8 deliveries with no support system. When I still struggle to manage my girl, she says that she never had any problem handling all of us all alone and yes, with some support from dad. She says we were all good children and never troubled them.
For a girl like me, I am sure it is highly impossible to change for someone else. But my mom did this so beautifully. Everyone in the village loved her so much and they still do. Few years back, when I visited the village, an old lady (she was too old to even look at my face clearly) held my hand and said, “Your mother is a goddess”.
While my dad traveled all around for work, she stayed put and handled us all. She sacrificed so we can be comfortable. Sometimes I think, what if my mom had married to some army officer? She would have travelled around the nation, world and had a nice carefree life. But, God had a different purpose. To handle so many people, care for them, love them, nurture them and be an example.
Who else do I need as an example to remind me that acceptance is the road to change. Accept things and you will change whole heartedly for the people around and the people you love.
Salute to my mom and many others who change for others selflessly and wholeheartedly.