I was so angry and upset when my husband said he is not okay me going home for my delivery. For ages this has been a kind of norm in India to send a pregnant woman to her house in her 5th month or 7th month and let her stay till the baby turns 5 or 7 months or sometimes a year.
He said, “The baby is ours. I want to be with you and the baby every moment. I want to be with you when the baby bump grows, when she kicks you, when she moves, I want to sing to her, read for her. She is already in our lives. If being with your parents makes you happy, why don’t we call them over? Trust me, I will never give a chance to make you feel that you did a mistake by staying back.”
He lived up to his words. He took care of me every single day. He was with me at every visit to the doctor, ultra sounds, shopping, etc., He managed everything at home including cooking. He found a doctor who agreed him being with me ALL the time, from entry till exit. He was in labour room rubbing my back to alleviate my pain. He was in the Operation theater holding my hand while we welcomed our baby. No wonder my baby bonds better with him than me.
Now, I feel that the best decision I have taken was to stay back and break some rules and norms set by society. That was one of the best times of our life. He still makes sure to be with us at every smallest event. Vaccinations to walks in the park. When I say, I can manage if you are busy , the only answer I get is “I am never too busy for my family”.
By just by being there he took our love and relationship to another level of trust and faith.
Recently, a very close relative of mine was diagnosed with cancer her husband was not there next to her when the report was confirmed by the doctor. He cannot do anything about her problem but at that time just being there holding her hand would have given her a lot of solace and confidence to fight her fear. He was not busy to be there but he did not expect the report to be positive.
I have seen many many parents who think certain events can be handled by his / her partner alone, or the kid alone. Like Parent teacher meetings, sports day or annual day at school. In many of the cases it’s ‘you this time and me next time’ or the stay at home parent who attends because the working parent has to go to work. I agree, it is not possible to be there all the time but you make sure when you can, you don’t miss.
THAT SMALLEST, INSIGNIFICANT MOMENT MAY TURN IN TO THE BIGGEST AND THE MOST IMPORTANT EVENT OF YOUR LIFE. YOU NEVER KNOW. SO BE THERE. SHOW YOU CARE.